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Flaw #1: Love is Not Self-Seeking

The Bible itself tells you to be aware of people because they are not always who they appear to be. The devil is real and he corrupts individuals on a regular basis so asking a person to simply trust someone is basically leaving yourself open to manipulation. I have been hurt by my 1st boyfriend who dumped me for my cousin. My second boyfriend impregnated someone else.

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My varsity bf, well i had to find out that he was getting married to someone else. My baby father, who i was engaged to had 3 other babies with 2 different mothers, he also impregnated someone else whilst engaged to me. My heart can no longer trust nor love, i have been rejected people that meant well and hurting others by taking their emotions high and leave them hanging.

I tried church but have been hurt in in church when i trusted a pastor and he started hitting on me………. This is how life is and we cannot change anything about that.

Power Thoughts on Love and Relationships - Louise Hay

The thing is, all of us here will learn how to trust but we will get hurt again, it is inevitable. We should just learn to accept that getting hurt is inevitable. It will happen, one way or another.

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I have been with my partner for nearly 10 years. Throughout our relationship we have had ups and downs usually connected with my lack of trust. We recently seperated and I moved about miles away with the intention of trying to keep a long distance relationship going.

Since leaving my partner has applied to be a model, bought a load of new sexy clothes and nightwear, asked to put away the few items of clothing away of mine that I left in the wardrobe and regularly cancelled Skype chats because she was too tired. I had a childhood with some abuse — by females. Not talking about every day but often enough. Most were family members and my mother hit me a few times, out of anger. She apologised but it never erased the scar that it left. I already felt emotionally abandoned and neglected. She linked her entire identity to me and my brother, growing up.

Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her)

We validated her existence. Then at 8 I was molested by a female doctor. In my teens I was groped by a woman. That is where my trust issues come from.


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I find myself in a weird situation. I am not attracted to men but am not able to trust women in relationships. I trust males completely and have many male friends as well as female friends. As far as female doctors are concerned — no.


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  • Not happening. I have gotten to be good at communicating this with female healthcare providers at least. That is one of my tactics in dealing with it. I tell them that I have an abusive past and tell them my boundaries which includes no touching me and having a male chaperone or trusted nurse present during any examination. No intimate exams ever for any reason, though, by women.

    All clothes must stay on. A large number still take it as being sexist, which I guess it is in some ways.

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    I wish I knew how to break this negative thought pattern aside from telling myself that my current situation is great. Just try it once and it gets easier with every subsequent time. But this is a huge one. I have never dated anyone. My childhood, adult life , studies are all smooth. Some days back, my friend asked me on a date.

    Walk in the Light: A Pastoral Response to Child Sexual Abuse, 1995

    Like all other time, i rejected him without any reasons. Then, he thinks that i do have trust issue. Can some one have trust issue without any traumatic condition or failure or rejection?????????? It feels too bad to see a person you once trusted blindly in a totally different light. Someone who betrayed you and is no longer worthy of the confidence once given to them, but perhaps not everyone will deceive you. I find it interesting that so many comments are about people IN relationships.

    I wonder if I had been trusting and compassionate, instead of vigilant and doubtful, it might have bore more fruitful relationships. I trusted people, and they just hurt me. Therefore, it is wiser to be less trusting henceforth. It is never one-sided and I think we need to be honest about the ways we could be hampering our chances at happiness and successful relationships.

    He did make some effort the first couple of times, when I was having a bad day, to at least ask if I was okay instead of just sort of avoiding me. Except I can get very withdrawn and experience a freeze response in those situations due to past trauma, so I was not responsive and he went back to what he usually does, i. What we with trust issues need to realize is by not trusting people, we are in often subtle ways rejecting them and not treating them with compassion and connection. It eats away at the foundation of relationships and we must recognize our own hand in it. Sure, he hurt me—but I also hurt him.

    Nobody is winning. IM looking for a little advice on starting a new relationship, that happens to have totally random problem but trust problem none the less. Been friends with a woman for 1. This past month we started a relationship , she asked me out and everything was going fine. About 10 days into the relationship she began to bring me around her friends, we met with some friends for a quick dinner and made plans to go out the next weekend.

    Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her) - Bryan Reeves

    Small tables and tall chairs. I mention this because I had just had Surgery a few weeks before and it was difficult to find a comfortable position to sit. I had already taken my medication for the pain only having Tylenol left to take, and did not have any more. The pain was unbearable and I ordered two mixed drinks.

    My girl was furious with me, the only problem is that I did not remember the advances at all. I was not fall down drunk but I do not remember the kiss.

    My girl walked into the bar as her friend was kissing me or started kissing me. Basically we have talked about the Kiss, she has forgiven me but she cant put it past her right now. She tells me she still likes me but cant have a relationship with someone she cant trust, She is worried about this happening again maybe when she is not around to find out about it.


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    I understand her concerns, believe me I feel I ruined what would have been a beautiful relationship. She has even told me that she see me going above and beyond to make sure she is happy, but she Is having problems getting past this. But its not her fault its mine.